So Clear Now
by StarTraveler
Summary: a repost of a fic I wrote before the season finale, I deleted it and regretted it so I decided to repost, after getting clean Raphael and Izzy come face to face, no romance I promise. Raphael/Magnus friendship


Disclaimer: Only the fic is mine.

AN: The writers and producers have done crazy and stupid things this season, ready for the drug storyline between Raphael and Izzy to end. What I wish we'd see on screen.

AN2: July 12 2017 It's been brought to my attention I explained asexual wrong, I wasn't trying to offend anyone the show never took the time to explain it fully and I looked it up on Wikipedia which wasn't helpful also never write out something when you're angry at a tv show plot or a character

Unbeated

****  
In all his decades Raphael Santiago had never been so eager to get a task over with.

But coming face to face with the woman who had turned him into an addict needed to be done.

She may be a Shadowhunter but as far as Raphael was concerned she was every bit as demonic as the actual demons they were created to fight.

It had been a tough and surreal six weeks, saving Isabelle Lightwood from the vampires he'd been with that night, discovering she had become a yin fin addict.

He knew he shouldn't have given her venom, but the sight of her desperate and trembling had reached his compassionate side.

One time only, that's how it was supposed to be.

Only like a fool he was moved by the desperate phone call the next night and he'd met with her.

She had forced him to drink her blood, that sweet intoxicating elixir that had led many to ruin.

He shuddered at the memory of them in his apartment at the hotel Dumort, telling her about his sister, a sacred memory that he should only have shared with someone who truly deserved it.

Once again she got him to drink her blood.

His face still ached every time he remembered how her brother Alec had burst in and punched his face.

Only Magnus using his powers had stopped Alec from inflicting even more damage.

"I have feelings for her," He remembered telling Magnus when they were alone, "I haven't felt this way in a long time."

But Magnus had been right; it had been her blood making him feel that way.

Thank everything I never had sex with her, the thought made Raphael shudder.

The last few weeks going through withdrawal had been tough, but he'd had Magnus and surprisingly of all Simon.

He'd remembered the next night coming down from the high and finding out Simon had been captured by Valentine.

The Shadowhunters had allowed Raphael to work with them to find him and Clary.

Raphael remembered his frantic prayers, help me find him and I promise I'll get clean.

Raphael had found Simon but they both had lost a lot of blood so Clary had helped them.

In the midst of everything Valentine had escaped but the Shadowhunters had managed to retrieve the soul sword.

And shockingly both Raphael and Simon could now exist in daylight.

The transition was already emotional enough but the withdrawal of Isabelle's blood had kicked in.

He had stayed at Magnus's place and Simon hadn't left his side, Simon apologized over and over again for his betrayal.

He said his time with Valentine had made him reflect on his life and mistakes.

He realized everything Raphael and the clan had done for him and how horrible he'd been to Raphael, and if he got free he'd go all out to make up for it.

Simon had held him through the screaming and shaking spells.

Clary meanwhile brought news Maryse Lightwood along with Alec had retaken control of the institute and Victor Aldertree had been arrested.

He was currently in Idris awaiting trial for so many charges, corruption, drug dealing, and the list went on and on.

Isabelle had been confined to the infirmary but three days ago word had been sent that she was clean and wanted to see Raphael.

***  
Magnus came into the living room, "Are you ready?"

Raphael smiled at the man who'd been like a second father to him, who did so much and never demanded anything.

He turned serious, "As ready as I can ever be."

Magnus nodded and opened the door, Isabelle walked in and Raphael was surprised.

Her color was back and her eyes no longer held a desperate wild look.

They held a plea for forgiveness and something else, apprehension.

"I'll be right in the next room," Magnus told him.

"Raphael, I'm so sorry," Isabelle whispered.

"That's Mr. Santiago to you, Ms. Lightwood, only friends and colleagues get to use my first name, you've never been either and never will be."

She flinched and Raphael looked at her blue colored dress, it was a somber color.

"Got to say it's strange to see you wearing an outfit that completely covers you, suits you, and makes someone take you more seriously."

"That's what I wanted, Mr. Santiago, to show you how serious I am."

She took a deep breath, "No one asks to become an addict. I'm so sorry I forced you into it as well."

"You humiliated me, put my position as clan leader in jeopardy, it'll be a long time before I can regain the respect I had before."

"I wish I could help," She whispered.

"You can, by making sure you stay out of my sight, if Shadowhunters need to do business with the night children, someone else is sent, and you do not come into the area."

She nodded, "I promise."

"Promises tend to be broken by Shadowhunters," Raphael told her harshly.

"I do my best to keep mine," She looked down at her feet, took a deep breath and then looked at him.

"I was lucid enough to hear what you told Magnus..."

"I was high as hell from your blood, I couldn't distinguish reality from fantasy, but I don't have feelings for you."

"But if you thought it through carefully..."

"I'm asexual, Ms. Lightwood, we don't fall in love and feel sexual feelings all the time, we have to know someone a long time and have a close bond before love can happen."

Raphael stared at her with contempt, "I can assure you I'll never feel love for you, someone who made me an addict and used me for her own purposes, and you are as foul as the demons you battle."

She flinched and let out a little cry but nodded, "I understand, but please know I'm so very truly sorry, your story that night truly did move me."

"Telling you is one of my greatest regrets."

"Hopefully one day you can find it in your heart to forgive me Mr. Santiago, if you or your clan ever needs a favor I promise I'll help you if no one else will."

"Demons would have to overtake the world before that happens, now please go; I've had enough of you to last a lifetime."

Ms. Lightwood nodded, quickly turned and walked out the door.

Magnus came out, "I'm so proud of your strength Raphael."

"Someone like her can only lead to ruin, thank goodness I had you to show me the way."

"Your clan loves you, Raphael, everything will be all right."

Just then Raphael's phoned made a beeping sound that he had a text message.

Raphael, I realized Clary and I aren't meant for each other, I started realizing while with Valentine, but I wanted to think things through.

I meant it when I said I wanted to be a newer and less impulsive Simon, thankfully Clary took it well, we both realized she was trying to forget about Jace, by distracting herself with me.

I'll see you later at the Dumort, there's something else that I want to share with you.

Simon.

Magnus looked at the message, "Sounds like you're in for something life changing," He grinned.

Raphael put his phone away, "If it is that, I'll need to figure out how to let him down gently.

At Magnus's shocked look, Raphael quickly added, "I'm still healing and I need to find myself again."

"You're off to a wonderful start."

***  
AN3: I know it turned out pretty mean, I have an ear infection and the pain can be awful so I guess I transferred my bitchiness into the fic, I heard Cassandra Clare said she believed Raphael to be asexual so I wrote that in, hopefully they'll include it in the show, and once he's no longer high, he'll realize he's not into Izzy.


End file.
